On Friday evening, Brad and I were rushing around trying to get ready for an awards ceremony for my CEO. My mom was here to get the kids and we were putting on shoes, turning off lights, and double checking we had masks - all the normal things. A call came through on my cell phone from our adoption agency. I almost didn't answer it. Most communications with our agency are scheduled and I wasn't expecting to hear from them. I let it ring for a few seconds and then decided to answer it. As it turns out, it was the call we've been waiting for since 2019.
"There's a little boy," our adoption specialist said, "in Bulgaria who needs a home. He's two. He was actually matched to a different family, but they decided they will decline the referral." Then she said, "Even though you and Brad are not to the top of the waiting list yet, you are a match for him. Would you consider him?" We, of course, quickly agreed to review his file, and before I knew it, Brad and I were driving to our event downtown while I tried to read his medical chart out loud. Without disclosing too much of his medical history, he is a sweet and cuddly little boy with a mild heart condition - he will likely need surgery at some point, but for now he just needs to be placed with a family who will be able to get him proper, routine medical care and shower him with lots of love. We hope to be that family.
Here's how this will work: since we were not formally matched by the Bulgarian authorities, we will need to request that they consider us. Our agency would like us to take all the steps we would take if it was a formal referral so that we can basically say, "Look, Bulgaria! We are ready for him!" Then, the Ministry of Justice will decide if we can move forward or if they would rather go to the next family in line. We are hopeful that, in the best interest of this little boy, they will move forward with us instead of taking the time to go back to the list and starting the process over with someone else.
We are feeling a million different emotions. We had mentally prepared for this to happen in 2023 and we had been moving through life as normal. Getting a referral in 2021 is what we had originally hoped for when we started this process, and the fact that it could happen when so many people wait on average 4 years, is amazing to us. We have tried to trust God through each step of the process and this is no different. There is a possibility that Bulgaria tells us no and this door will be closed. If that happens, we will continue to patiently wait.
What is surprising to me is that I am filled with expectant joy and wonder, like I was with my previous pregnancies. Brad and I feel excited to plan for this child, and are eagerly anticipating the day he comes home. The logistics feel like a pregnancy - where will he sleep, how much time will I take off of work, and how will his brothers adjust to a new child? And my hesitancy to even write this post and share our news feels like a pregnancy. I feel like I'm in the first trimester, and it's too soon to share the happy announcement with all of you. What if it doesn't work out? What if he's not meant to be ours?
If he is not ours, we can grieve together. But if he is, I want to document from the beginning that we were excited about being his parents. We can't wait to share more of him with you, but for now, I am enjoying holding him in my heart. His face, his name, his story. He is precious.
We will not be bored over the next two weeks, as our agency wants to respond to Bulgaria as soon as possible. We need a pediatrician specializing in international adoption to review the file and educate us on medical care once he's adopted. We need to create a transition plan for how to best integrate him into our family while being sensitive of how he may be grieving the loss of his parents, his orphanage workers, his country and his language. We need to complete a host of other forms and of course, pay the $8,000 referral fee (this is reimbursed if the adoption is not approved by Bulgaria).
While our heads are spinning, our hearts are full. We will keep you posted, friends, and we appreciate any prayers, good thoughts, and positive vibes that you are willing to send our way.
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