What made you guys want to do this?

Check out the "Our Story" tab for a little more information on how we made this decision.

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Did you think about birthing another child? 

We did, but ultimately we both felt like that wasn't the right path for us. Certainly, having another newborn does have some draws, but we both felt that we were passed wanting to be in the newborn phase again and that our hearts were being pulled towards adoption. 

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What about domestic adoption? Did you consider that?

We did. We went to a workshop where we learned a lot about all types of adoptions. I think people are generally drawn towards a certain type of adoption, and for us, international adoption just seemed right.

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How did you choose Bulgaria?

Our blog has more information on this, but adoption agencies will typically work with a handful of countries. When talking to our adoption counselor, we told them about our family, and they recommend a country or countries to think about. At first, we thought our country would be China, but it ended up not working out based on the special needs our family can handle. Our agency suggested Bulgaria, and that's how we ended up here!

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Did you say special needs? Like what?

Adoption continues to evolve, and currently we can adopt from countries that adhere to the Hague Convention. It sets standards for international adoption, including first trying to place children within their home country if at all possible. Because of this, many children who are eligible for international adoption will have a special need of some type. This can be as minor as premature birth or a correctable medical condition or it could be severe. We have worked with our agency to evaluate what we can handle, and we will be matched with a child who meets that criteria. 

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Have you thought about long-term trauma issues the child might face?

Goodness, yes. These are the worries that keep me up at night. I worry about attachment issues, abandonment issues, about eventual drug and alcohol issues. We are fortunate that we have met many people with adoption success stories, and we have had extensive conversations with those folks. Our adoption agency also has support groups and get-togethers in Pittsburgh where we can continue to meet adoptive families. We are reading The Connected Child, which gets into the nitty-gritty on children who have experienced trauma and how to adjust our parenting style. Finally, our agency requires 30 hours of training prior to the adoption being finalized, so there will be lots of opportunities to continue learning and growing. The short answer is: this is the biggest unknown of our lives, but an unknown we want to pursue. 

 

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Have you thought about how your family, specifically your two current boys, might be affected?

We certainly have, and we would never do anything to compromise our boys happiness and well-being. We don't view this as something that will take away from our boys, but something that will add to their overall fulfillment. Before we had Ellis, we were afraid that having him would take something away from Oliver (our time, our love, etc.), but we realize now that, just like The Grinch, our hearts have the ability to grow. We know our boys will love their new sibling as much as we do, and we view this as completing our family, as opposed to compromising it.

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Are you looking for a certain gender?

I thought I would have my heart set on a girl, but sadly, we have learned that the majority of waiting children are boys. As a mom of boys, I know the joy and excitement boys can bring. Because of this, we decided to be open to whoever God has for us! 

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It seems like Kristen is doing most of the talking on this site. Is Brad really on board with this?

This is Brad typing. Notice the perfect grammar. Yes, I am on board! Well, now that we've settled that, it's back to Kristen for some well-placed compliments about me...Thanks, Brad. Yes, your commitment to this process has been a huge anchor for me in times when I've felt fearful. And I know you are excited to be a dad for a third time! 

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How much money will it take to bring your child home? 

In the neighborhood of $45,000. You can read more about the financials under the "Ways to Help" tab. 

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What do Oliver and Ellis think?

They of course don't understand everything, but they are very excited. Oliver is adamant he wants a sister because, "there are enough boys in this house." I don't disagree, but he knows it's not up to us. 

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