One Year with Niko

Today, March 28, marks one year since Niko has been a Hemmings. I love this picture so much because it really exemplifies his love of phones and our effort to collect each one on the baby phone market.

One year ago we were stepping out in faith that we would be able to be good parents to Niko. Despite all the parenting classes and training (and other real, live, children), we really had no idea what to expect. Many of those early days in Bulgaria I cried because I didn't know the best way to help Niko, and I didn't know if I had it in me to be the mom that he deserved. Other adoptive parents assured me that by six months, everything falls into a routine and by a year, you don't even recognize any of the players in the story.

And it's so true. I am not the woman I was a year ago. Niko isn't the scared boy from the orphanage. He's our son, our joy, our hope for the future, and our blessing. He isn't afraid to love and finds tremendous joy in the small things.

His current favorites include:

• Mashed Potatoes (will always eat as much as we will give him)

• Dogs, especially Maple

• Phones of all kinds

• Car rides (and remember, it wasn't that long ago he was puking any time he was in a car)

• Family (if we mention someone's name he will gesture over and over again for them to come over)

• Sugar cookies (watch out, Bulgaria - we have turned him into a sugar-craving American!)

We can also see more of his personality. His speech is moving along very slowly, but he definitely wants to communicate. He uses all sorts of noises and hand-gestures to get his point across and will often come find me to try to tell me the plot of the Daniel Tiger episode he's watching, or try to let me know what his brothers are doing. Sometimes he still gets frustrated, but it's an amazing feeling when we can understand each other.

For example, in the course of conversation with Oliver and Ellis, we started talking about basketball. Niko perked up and made the noise he makes for Maple (which is sort of a "hoo hoo" sound, like he's calling her over). I asked if he wanted Maple to play basketball and he beamed YA! I quickly said, "Dogs can't play basketball!" before I remembered this gem from the 90s.

I pulled out my phone and showed Niko the trailer to Air Bud. He squealed with delight, and I knew this had to be our next family movie night. When we got around to watching it, Niko laughed and laughed, and pointed at Maple, and thoroughly enjoyed himself (except for the scene where the little boy has to send Air Bud away, which led to three sobbing boys, one who cried so loudly it prompted Brad to run in asking who was hurt). It seems like a small thing, but knowing that my son would enjoy a movie and being able to show it to him made my week.

It isn't all smooth sailing. We had backed off the doctor's appointments last year because there was just too much medical trauma for him, and it was stressing him more than we thought necessary. He has come such a long way, no longer screaming in terror at the scale, or the height stick, or when they take the circumference of his head. Because of that, we are starting up the appointments again. Cranio-facial, Audiology, and Genetics will all get their turn within the next 2 months. He will very likely have another MRI this year, and we will need to do some contingency planning if he remains nonverbal.

BUT, Niko's name (Nikolay) means "People of Victory." Niko does not give up, even when it's hard. He is stubborn in the most wonderful way, and I for one won't underestimate him. God had Niko in the palm of His hand from the moment his life began. On the day of his birth, Brad and I were already 6 months into the adoption process, getting psych evaluations done. The hard start to his story is just the beginning, and we are very fortunate to be able to come alongside Niko and help him defy all the odds.

We made a little video, summing up the past year. It's a bit long, but I couldn't trim away from his story. This bright little light who loves people, loves animals, and loves life has me inspired. I hope we can do him justice.