We are all starting to settle into a normal routine, and we are all figuring each other out. The last two days have been easier than the first few, and that's a blessing. First an update on how our boy is doing!
He has started to feel more comfortable with us, which has led to a change in behavior. He is no longer pacing the apartment, opening and closing all of the doors. He still does this occasionally, but it's more of a "peek-a-boo" type of game and not the aimless, never-ending, walk-a-thon that it was before. He has learned the parts of the apartment that are off-limits (he's drawn to the vacuum cleaner and garbage cans, of course) and while we still need to remind him that he's not supposed to touch them, he's no longer making a game out of how many times he can get away with doing it like he was the first few days.
Niko is sitting more to play. He still is extremely active and does take a lot of energy to parent, but he will sit on the floor now for 5-10 minute stretches, whereas a few days ago that didn't happen. Even our translator, Plamena, commented that Niko seems more calm than earlier in the week.
We have figured out some of his triggers for hitting and are trying to avoid it before it happens. It's not a perfect science, and sometimes he still pounds his little fist on the table in anger (usually when I take away his Bulgarian yogurt, which he is OBSESSED with). But we've definitely seen progress!
But we now feel like we are seeing glimpses of the real Niko. We can't wait to know him more, and we're all excited for you to meet him too. He is sweet, and he is smiley.
Niko loves sensory toys and experiences. One of his caretakers at the orphanage had mentioned that he likes when you use your hair to tickle his face, and he is always reaching for my hair to try to rub it on his head (we think some of the initial hair pulling was actually a request to do this, we just didn't know!). He loves the wind. He loves different textures. He is drawn to things that crinkle and is always looking for loose receipts, plastic bottles, and plastic bags. I think we can make some fun sensory crafts when we get back home.
Niko always wants to be holding something - anything! As he walks around, he usually wants to carry something that belongs to him. Sometimes a spoon, sometimes a book, but it becomes his comfort item. He doesn't like to be empty-handed, so on our walks he always carries a blue heart that we brought from home. He carries it pretty tightly and daddy has only had to backtrack and search the city one time to find it after Niko dropped it! (It was outside of a Starbucks. Brad, because he is the best dad ever, went back to look for it as it started raining. Amazingly, he found it!) This picture is from earlier in the trip, but you can see the heart that he carries around when we take our walks.
Niko loves putting things away. He has no idea where things go, but likes to take random objects and put them in drawers and closets. In my sock drawer, he added a comb and a box of Q-tips. He will often put his spoon in the closet with towels. There is a 500% chance that we will leave things here, but we take care to hide the important stuff from him!
So, this is the little boy we're getting to know and it's been amazing to see the difference in just a few days. A friend and follow adoptive mom reminded us that it takes time for his neural pathways to form new habits and conclusions from the change in his family environment. We need to continue to be patient and consistent.
Probably my favorite thing is that he's understanding "family hugs." We have always done this with Oliver and Ellis too - we say "family hug," and then we all come together for a big group hug (as a hugger by nature, I am in my glory during family hugs!). We have taught Niko too, and he gets a big smile on his face when Brad and I both come in at the same time for a hug. We can't wait to add the older boys to this also!
As for the last two days, yesterday was our trip to the United States Embassy for Niko to have his Visa interview (stock footage of the complex since cameras are banned).
It was an interesting experience - more security than I would have thought, and the complex is larger than I would have guessed. I sort of expected everyone there to be American, but most people spoke Bulgarian to our translator, and she filled us in. Niko's actual interview was done by an American, so that was nice.
Niko's interview was basically us testifying that the information we've provided on his Visa application was accurate. They wanted to know if he lived in an orphanage or in foster care, and they wanted to know how long it took to adopt him after we had been matched. We also had to certify that we would make sure he sees a pediatrician and get him up to date on his vaccines if he isn't already. We should get his actual Visa on Monday, which is one step closer to getting home! The whole thing should've felt like a huge step, but there was an angry man screaming the F word in the interview booth next to us ("I have a one million dollars deal, but you guys F'd up and did not issue to me the Visa!"), so that sort of overshadowed thing a bit.
We had good intentions of getting pictures in front of the embassy. We dressed up, and Niko looked so cute. Then we found out you couldn't bring your phones in and you also couldn't have anything on you with batteries. We thought we had emptied our purses and pockets of everything, but their scanner picked up our car keys (key fob) and a remote charging device we had in our backpack. We honestly forgot about both, but security was less than thrilled with us. Oops!
Instead of all of us looking spiffy, please settle for this super cute picture of Niko wearing Brad's hat.
Today we decided to walk to a park that was 25 minutes in one direction. Why not! He loves to be outside, and we want to kill time. It was a beautiful and large park called Borisova Gradina Park. The playground was extensive, and he mostly enjoyed watching other kids, even walking up to a few of them, but unsure of what to do. I think he will really enjoy being around other children once we get home. He went for his first ride on the swings, which he enjoyed for about 20 seconds.
He finally started to get the hang of the slide, and we did that about 10 times. The only other thing he could do was crawl through the little tunnels, but it took awhile for him to get the hang of it. We take for granted that children naturally play, but it's a learned behavior. Since he was deprived of these experiences it will take time for him to figure it out and gain the confidence to try. But we think today was a great start.
Here is one of his trips down the slide.
We continued walking through the park and passed the Mount of Brotherhood, which was erected in the '50s to commemorate everyday Bulgarian citizens who had fought against the Nazis and to commemorate the Soviet Army which aided them. It's hard to see in this picture, but it has been defaced with the colors of the Ukrainian flag. Our translator told us that the government has stationed guards around Russian statues to protect them from vandalism. While Bulgaria stands with Ukraine, they fear retribution from Russia should people start destroying soviet era statues. It's definitely an interesting time to be traveling abroad.
After our adventure this morning, we napped (all of us!) and ventured out this afternoon to get some food. Our apartment is directly across from the National Palace of Culture Park, and it's a beautiful place to walk around and get some fresh air. We are very fortunate to be in such a walkable part of the city!
Tomorrow's forecast shows rain all day, so we are armed with play-doh, a toy phone (to take his attention off of ours!), and some other new toys, so wish us luck!
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