Saying that Brad and I are exhausted would be an understatement. The past two days have had both highs and lows, but always underscored with a baseline of tiredness. Before I start with the hard stuff, let's start with the successes!
Here's our boy, straight from the shower (no bath in this apartment, but he tolerated the shower pretty well!). Niko is blowing us away with his communication skills. Considering there is a language barrier, we figured he would get very frustrated trying to understand us and vice versa. That happens occasionally, but in 3 days he has already picked up some of the sign language we are using for "more," "thirsty," and "hungry." He also points and uses hand motions. If he wants our phone, he just holds his hand up by his ear like he's on the phone. (We don't quite know what he wants on our phones - if we give it to him, he just sort of scoots his finger around on the screen. Maybe a caretaker used to show him videos?) He calls for daddy a lot (by saying "did-dee") and today when we were looking at pictures of our family, we swear he said "brat" when he saw Oliver and Ellis, which is "brother" in Bulgarian.
He is also doing a great job attaching with us. We are giving him the choice to sleep in his pack 'n play or sleep with us in bed, and he chooses us every time. He likes to rub Brad's arm as he falls asleep (we don't think he's felt arm hair before!), and he is seeking us out when he needs help with something.
We have been working on being gentle, and I think he is understanding somewhat. One of the topics that would fit into the "low points" category would be hitting and kicking. We keep saying "gentle" and rubbing his cheeks so he can understand we need to be gentle to each other. I have started to see a recognition when we tell him "gentle."
Finally, his appetite is stellar! As I mentioned in a previous post, he is not eating solid foods, but he literally eats any kind of baby food we put in front of him. And here in Bulgaria, there are TONS of baby food and much of it is organic. They really value nutrition here, much more than the States. We have fed Niko spinach and white beans, carrot and sweet potato, Thanksgiving dinner, pureed raisins, and much more - he eats every bite of it. Tonight we went to the mall food court and gave him fresh guacamole that we purchased from a Mediterranean place. I left some larger chunks of avocado in it, and he still ate it, which is a great first step to figuring out how to use his teeth. He loves food, and it will be fun to try new things with him once he starts eating solids.
So, the low points . . .
We knew Niko would be behind developmentally because of his life in the orphanage, but we underestimated how much. We went to a toy store tonight to find something, anything, that he would play with, because he will hardly touch any of the toys that we brought. The items that he is drawn to are items that are more for kids around 6 or 8 months old - soft toys that crinkle, tag blankets, toys with one or two buttons. It makes sense considering he never was able to experience this phase in the orphanage, and we need to go back and catch him up. We are hoping these new toys hold his attention because what he has been doing is just wandering around the apartment. It's only 2 bedrooms but he walks into each room 70 times a day just to open a drawer or a closet. Then he closes it, walks to the next room and does the same thing. This place is not baby-proofed, so we follow him around, which is fine except that it's tiring and monotonous. It can be frustrating for us when we want to play with him, or read to him, or rock him, or roll a ball with him, and he has no interest.
We end up taking LOTS of long walks, because he loves being outside, and it is the only time we feel like he is truly content. Blessedly, the weather has been cooperating here, so we try to take walks as much as possible.
On a side note, Bulgarian mothers do not wear their babies. We haven't seen any baby wearing at all, and I knew doing this would create a lot of attention, but we will give back our stroller when we head to the airport, and I wanted to make sure this was a good option to get through the airport. Niko did great, but yes, we stood out as weird Americans.
Niko also cries when it's time to sleep - whether nap or bedtime. Since we have been letting him sleep with us, he settles down after awhile, but last night, he woke up at 1:30 am and was wide awake, wanting to play. We tried to explain it was still dark, but it wasn't sinking in. I tried to soothe him back to sleep, but he whacked me in the face twice. I wanted to illustrate that wasn't ok, so I set him down in his pack 'n play, and he started to cry. I let him go for a minute until an angry neighbor started pounding on our bedroom wall. So... Niko came back into our bed, and I held him until he fell back to sleep an hour later. We were tired today, but fortunately there is coffee on every corner here. But the hitting is an issue, and one that frustrates us.
We also miss Oliver and Ellis terribly. It's very hard to be apart this long and FaceTime calls just aren't the same as the real thing. We are counting down the days until we can return to the U.S. and be a family of five.
In the meantime, we have had some excitement around here. First, Niko received his Bulgarian passport. Even though he will be a U.S. citizen, it technically does not occur until he touches down in Washington D.C. next week. As we go through customs, he will officially become an American. So in order to get there, he has to travel as a Bulgarian citizen with American parents. He has yet to declare which country he will represent in the Olympics.
Look at this passport though.... he is the cutest, even if he looks like he's wearing a wig!
So he is all set! Also, he had to get a TB test today and a checkup from a doctor. In the US, they do this as a finger-prick, but here they do this as an intravenous blood draw. I felt so bad for him, and 3 of us had to hold him down in order to get it done. Here we are before the hard part.
And here we are waiting to see the doctor with our wonderful friend and translator, Plamena, and a random bald man who seems to be staring at a large block of cheese.
We slept when we got home (all of us, because we had been awake overnight), and then decided it was a good time to hit the playground. He doesn't really know what to do at the playground, but he likes watching the other kids and hold our hands and walk around. We showed him some of the playground equipment, but he doesn't seem to enjoy using it at this point in time.
Brad keeps joking that he is too big for this country. People here seem to be very trim and on a recent shopping trip, the salesman seemed appalled at Brad's pants size. They do not carry anything that large, he was told. Brad keeps asking, are there no chubby Bulgarians??? Anyways, he said he could feel the playground wood bending under his weight, but thankfully for his self-esteem, it did not collapse. With all the walking and healthy eating, we're likely both going to lose weight on the trip though!
We are officially halfway through our adventure, and while there have certainly been fun parts, we cannot wait to be home! Parenting from our comfort zone has to be easier than this. Right?
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